Even though I was a very sensitive child, I tried my hardest to be a rebel…

I can remember the first time I bit into a lime. My mom told me I wouldn’t like it, so I was determined to prove her wrong. Bordering on 6 years old, thats just what I did. I spent my time asking questions and then saying “nuh-uh” and then doing what I was told I wouldn’t want to do, or wouldn’t enjoy doing.

I didn’t really think much about it, since I’d only met with two other types of citrus, the orange and the lemon. This fruit was much prettier. The exact shade of green that I liked. One of my favourite colours, besides pink. Since there were no pink fruits that I knew of (I hadn’t met with the amazing grapefruit before, and it would be quite a few years before blood oranges made their debut in my local grocery store) This green one would have to do.

I didn’t know how to broach it. Do I peel it? Do I bite right into it like an apple? It was greeneverbashfulwithbutter.comhttp://www.neverbashfulwithbutter.comn, like an apple. It smelled faintly sweet. I licked it.

The rough texture of the rind felt like how I imagined a frog would feel on my tongue, minus the sliminess, of course. I thought of the frog that I had been keeping as a “pet” in the hose box outside by the water spigot. I named him Fred, and I would dig up worms in the garden and put them in a cup with a little bit of dirt inside the hose box, so Fred would have something to eat. Occasionally I’d keep a few worms and put them under my sisters pillow, or just throw them at her if I felt like it. I wasn’t afraid of worms, though the thought of putting them in my mouth made me gag a little. So did the thought of putting an amphibian in my mouth. I decided to peel the lime.

For those of you who don’t know, citrus peeling technology in the mid 80’s was fairly… barbaric. You either used a paring knife, or a peeling tool. I was still five years old, so I wasn’t allowed to handle sharp knives just yet. I used the orange peeling tool from my mom’s bright orange tupperware set. The thing looked like a crochet hook , only the front of the hook was flat, and the inside of the hook was sharp. It worked kind of like a reverse zipper. You hooked the rind on the hook, and then you pulled downward, “unzipping” the peel, and revealing the soft white pith that you removed by hand.

It wasn’t so easy with a lime. I think I cut myself a few times on the sharp end of the citrus peeler, so I gave up and tried the potato peeler.

This did not work so well. I turned to the butterknife in hopes that it would help free the tasty green flesh of this forbidden fruit.

My mom looked on as I cut into the lime, spilling the sticky juices out onto the cutting board. Again, she warned me. “you’re not going to like it”.

This was like adding fuel to the fire. I was a pretty good little kid, but I found little ways to rebel. This was one of them.

She took a break from putting the dishes into the dishwasher to observe my little experiment. I think she cringed as I bit deeply into the lime, as if I was trying to shove the entire fruit into my mouth.

From the moment the sour juice hit my tongue, I was no longer in control of my actions. I dropped my hands to my sides and made the sound that my mom used to refer to as “the shudder gag” which is sort of an involuntary sound made by a person who is gagging, only they have their mouth open. Try it sometime, its unique.

My teeth clenched, holding the lime deeply within my mouth. When this happened, the hard rind of the fruit hit the spot in the back of my mouth that sets off my gag reflex. So I’m gagging with my mouth propped open by the fruit that I can’t remove from my mouth because my jaw has clamped down because I’m gagging, but the fruit is making me gag. It was a vicious cycle.

My mom dropped her dishtowel and laughed that full body belly laughter that made her knees buckle. She said I looked like a cat that had just been given peanut butter. My tongue was thrusting against the fruit which would not budge from the spot which my teeth held it tightly to.  I started to cry.

Finally, my mom realized what was going on, and stuck her finger in my mouth and pulled out the lime. I’m fairly certain she was still laughing when I yelled “ITS NOT FUNNY!” and got all bent of shape about her making fun of me, although really, she was just laughing at a funny situation.
…And that is when it happened.

I threw a temper tantrum. The last temper tantrum I EVER threw in my entire life.

To say I was a spoiled little brat would be missing the point. I wasn’t spoiled, per se, I was the baby of the family, which did not get me anything special really, other than the excuse that I was the baby, and that was why I was throwing a temper tantrum.

I’d throw a temper tantrum over anything. ANYTHING.

I didn’t want to take a shower. Temper tantrum.
I didn’t want to go to school.  Temper tantrum.
I didn’t want to eat my vegetables. Temper tantrum.

I didn’t want to take my cold medicine..
… OK, that last one never happened. My mom will freely admit that I was a Dimetapp addict as a child, even convincing my older sister that “mom said it was ok” for her to get the bottle of delicious grape flavoured goodness (grape is still one of my favourite candy flavours), down from the shelf that I was too short to reach.

Anyways, I was big into the temper tantrums. They all followed the same format, too.

Step #1- Clench fists and hold arms tight against the sides of your body. Frown
Step #2- Stomp, using the biggest steps your body can muster. Develop a “tantrum catch phrase” such as “I DON’T WANNA” or “YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!” Repeat often. Fake cry.
Step #3- Jump up and down, repeat your tantrum catch phrase loud, and repeatedly. Alternate between jumping up and down and stomping.
Step #4- Fall down, Kick, scream, and writhe on the floor, continue until either parent relents, or you are told to go to your room.

This tantrum was just like any other.  I stomped, I clenched, I repeated something like “Its not funny!” and just when I got to the part where you fall backwards.. Yeah, The look of horror filled my mom’s eyes as she realized what I was about to do.

I was probably about 2 feet in front of the dishwasher, which was open.

Before she could act, I launched myself backwards, landing on the open door to the dishwasher. When I hit, I realized what had just happened, and I scared myself so bad that I started crying for real. When I used my legs to try and kick myself back up, the backs of my calves hit the door latch, which was a big sharp metal hook. Needless to say, I cut both of my legs on this hook. I managed to wriggle myself back up, but the force of my body pushing down on the door bent it down to where it could not be shut again. I ran into my bedroom, screaming and freaking out all the way.

Unaware that  I was injured, my mom came running behind me into my bedroom. She wasn’t screaming at me because she was mad, but because she was just as scared as I was. I just remember her saying over and over, “THE WHOLE DISHWASHER COULD HAVE CLOSED ON YOU!” and telling me she was just glad I wasn’t hurt.

Well, I was hurt. We didn’t have health insurance at that point, so my mom just used butterfly bandages to close the huge wounds on the backs of both calves. I told all the kids at school that I got hit by a car, and survived. They didn’t believe me.

I had to do the dishes, by hand, three days a week for the next month. I guess it was a fitting punishment, since my parents had to buy a new dishwasher and everything.

That was the last temper tantrum I ever threw. Srsly. Sure, I’d cry or say “MOoooooOOOoM!!!” in that way that kids do when they want something and they just can’t have it. But I never ever threw a physical tantrum again. I was too scared.

It was a pretty long time before I tried another lime, too. The next incarnation of the lime that I experienced was via the Lime Jello, Cottage cheese and pineapple “salad” that was so very popular in the 80’s, even though people were eating lumpy green goo with stringy chunks of yellow stuff in it.

But really, who am I to judge. I played with worms.

These cupcakes taste like the key lime cheesecake I had for dessert at my high school prom. It was the first time I’d ever had cheesecake with a layer of sweetened cream cheese at the top, and a layer of pineapple at the bottom, just sitting on top of the crust. To say this cheesecake tasted like that lime jello salad that I mentioned before would be an understatement.

It was delicious, and so are these cupcakes.

Tasting more like cheesecake than my childhood memories of the evil “Lime jello salad” with cottage cheese and chunks of pineapple, I chose to add pineapple juice and lime jello powder to a cream cheese base, eliminating the awkward texture that no one loved about the original.

Key lime cupcake recipe-

1/2 cup butter, softened
1 cup white sugar
2 eggs
2 teaspoons grated key lime zest
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup key lime juice

Cream together the butter or margarine and 1 cup sugar. Beat until light and fluffy. Separate the eggs. Beat in the egg yolks one at a time, and add the key lime zest.

Sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add these dry ingredients to the egg butter mixture, alternating with 3/4 cup key lime juice.

Beat the egg whites until stiff, and fold into the batter.

Spoon the batter into paper lined cupcake tins. Bake for 15-20 minutes at 350 degrees F, or until the cakes test done with a toothpick. This recipe should make about 12-18 cupcakes.

Allow to cool before frosting.

Lime Jello Salad Icing Recipe-

1 regular sized package of lime gelatin dessert powder (not sugar free)
3 cups powdered sugar
1 cup cream cheese
1/4 cup butter
1-4 tablespoons pineapple juice

In the bowl of a heavy duty stand mixer, beat the cream cheese and butter together on high until smooth. Scrape from the edges of the bowl with a spatula and turn mixer to one of the lowest settings. slowly add the lime gelatin dessert powder, followed by the powdered sugar. The mixture should be dry and crumbly.

Turn the mixer speed to high, one step at a time, allowing the mixer to remain at each speed for about 30 seconds or so. Add the pineapple juice one tablespoon at a time. Mixture should come together and fluff up. IF the mixture is still dry, add a tablespoon of HOT water. IF the mixture is too liquidy, add more powdered sugar.

Let the mixture rest for about 5 minutes before spreading on the cooled cupcakes. Sprinkle with sprinkles and top with a lime section or a marachino cherry. Serve cold and enjoy!

-A.

This entry was posted on Saturday, March 1st, 2008 at 2:16 am and is filed under June 2007, The Cupcakes!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.